The reason I call this Musings about the Inner Life of the Steward is because, one cannot really live as a Steward without changes to an inner belief system located in the heart. We have two thinking organs - one is the brain and one is the heart. Oswald Chambers says "There are whole tracts of stubbornness and ignorance to be revealed by the Holy Spirit, and it can only be done when Jesus gets us alone. " (My Utmost For His Highest Jan 13) These are lodged in the heart. "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he" says the Proverb
I have learned a lot from all the books that have been written on stewardship. That learning, plus the reason and logic from the evidence in the Scriptures, helped me with a decision process to intentionally set out to be a steward. My thinking brain was full of reasons why it would be good to be a steward and not an owner...and I fully intended to be a steward. Problems began when I had to wait, when I was disappointed, when I felt threatened by loss or ridicule, and the variety of other experiences which knocked on my door. That is when I resorted to the thinking of my heart which had been formed as deeply held beliefs that are subconscious and hidden. We think in memories, cultural backgrounds, pictures, voices and experiences that are like mountain ranges of power. Our good intentions go bust and we return to our old ways of management and ownership.
That is why it is a must for me to sit with the King and His Word every morning. It substantiates and renews my beliefs about the life of the Steward and enables me to stay the course when I really want to take things into my own hands. It comes first to my thinking brain, but is in agreement with new heart beliefs that are still forming and, therefore, I am in unity of mind, heart and spirit. Creativity and energy begins to flow into me as I leave the morning meditation. Waiting is the most difficult inner challenge I have. Trusting that the promises are true and that God is working even when I cannot see it pushes all my buttons.
Two of my life scriptures are Psalm 1 and 2 Corinthians 9: 6-15. When I am confused about how things are developing, I return to this starting place and establish that again in my head and heart. I am slowing going through Mark and reading it in small doses looking to apply what it says to me as the Royal Steward. Today's lesson was Mark 8:31-38. I have been stuck there for a number of days reading it in the amplified, the Dakes, and other versions.
Peter rebuked Jesus for what he said....and then Jesus rebuked Peter, "Get thee behind me Satan. You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." I have rebuked the Lord over my lifetime because I, also, did not like what he said or how things were going. As a Steward of the Lord, I am learning that what is written is written. It will not fail, nor change, nor be a suggestion. Getting my life, thoughts and heart beliefs in line with the unchanging eternal Word is the key to the inner life of the Steward. I no longer rebuke...but, I am slowly understanding that there are still stubborn tracts of beliefs that must be revealed and changed for me to know the freedom of life that Jesus knew.
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