The Steward's Beginnings

The roots of my thinking of myself as a Steward occurred in the late 1980's when I was feeling the pressure of living in a household with a husband and a son caught in the web of addictions along with a mother who was dying of a brain tumor..  After one particularly difficult day, I grabbed my coat and ran out into the cold winter blast for a walk to clear my head.  I found myself sitting in the sanctuary of my local church, alone and crying out to God in my distress.  I suggested - perhaps begged - to be able to stay in His house and just be the doorkeeper.  "I will clean and sweep and open the doors.  I will clean the toilets and wash up after everyone left.  Could I just be the "doorkeeper in the house of the Lord"?  It is too hard at my house!"

Silence was deafening.  No comfort, no direction, no sense of His presence let alone His hearing me.  In the dark I trudged home with the stinging wind on my face drying the tears even before they fell.  Up the drive way to the door, I walked with shoulders humped in the attitude of exhausted hope.

As I turned the handle, the Lord spoke clearly in words only my spirit could hear.  "This is the House of the Lord and You are the Doorkeeper."  In the twinkling of an eye, everything changed.  Not the circumstances, not the people in the house, but me.  This revelation opened the door to a new reality that I have lived ever since.  My home was the Lord's Sanctuary and I was the honored DoorKeeper.  Church was not to be an escape, because my home had become the place where the Lord resided.

Everyone in this story has since died...husband, son, mother.  Because the Lord changed my perspective, I was able to see them through to the end without complaint, bitterness or rancor.  The house became the Blessing House, even before so named, wherein dwelt hope, peace, and love even in the chaos and uncertainties.

Perhaps that is why in the summer of 1993, I could so easily give everything to the Lord with the great reward of being able to live there in the riches of my Lord and King.