I am realizing that trust in the Master is highly influenced by my fear of failure. God is uncovering another layer of ownership in me that surprises me even as I write about it. Owning my own life domain, its reputation, credibility and influence sets me up for failure. It is sneaky how it works its way into the life of a Steward who claims to own nothing and to only work for the Master's glory.
If I fail, I fear that I would give the Master the black eye...but, really, it is my own "life" that is at stake. It can only be "at stake" if I am alive. But the truth is that the Christian has been crucified with Christ and no longer lives. Yet she lives, but the life she now lives she lives by the faith of the Son of God who loved her and gave His life for her. (Gal 2:20)
Death is the ultimate freedom from ownership. I have known that life for a long time - I call it my coffin theology. When I reckon myself dead to the world and alive to God, life goes better. When I could care less whether I succeed or fail because I have cast that care over on the Lord who invited me to, Life goes better.
The truth is I want to accomplish that which the Lord has given me to do - and in an excellent way. But the way I achieve my goal, is trusting Him to empower, direct, correct and inspire me daily as I go about my work. I am getting used to believing that He will deliver resources and people when I need them. But, it is a new spiritual skill - one which I have never had to develop before. I know how to make the most of what I have without having to expect more. But this new building project is pushing me into new arenas of trust.
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